You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
