i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
MIDGETS
????
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
