Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
