Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
