I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
