I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
