i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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