Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
