Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
