My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
