i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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