i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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