He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
