This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
