"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
