The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
