the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
