Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
