Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I party with great urgency now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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