I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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