How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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