i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
