creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
