We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
