Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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