Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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