Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
