Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
