My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
