whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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