omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
