i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
