WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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