My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
