just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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