Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
