The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
