I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
