He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
