Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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