need another drink. this is the easiest way
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
