glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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