Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
