it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
