when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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