You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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