You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
