Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
