they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
