her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
